


New Heights

by RcA



Series: Carnivores [2]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Traits, Character Study, Creature Fic, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Extended Metaphors, M/M, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7884583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RcA/pseuds/RcA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you afraid of heights?"</p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Heights

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a simple [Tumblr prompt.](http://louisianne-kpop.tumblr.com/post/149346520869/imagine-your-otp) Takes place before [Carnivores](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7731763) (between [The First of Many](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8463166) and [Laying Claim](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8402689)). This will be far more meaningful if you've at least read Carnivores, I think. 
> 
> Also, I may have gotten a little carried away with the metaphors, so... yeah. There is that.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** This is a fictional work based on the public personas of real people. Needless to say, none of this ever happened.

 

 

 

 

“Are you afraid of heights?”

The question hangs in the air between them. Daesung does not look up from where he is crouched in the dirt, plucking idly at strands of grass and reducing the blades to ribbons with deft fingers. Looking inescapably bored, he drops his shredded handful and reaches for another as he asks, unconcerned, “Why?”

Instead of answering, Seunghyun reaches out and seizes him by the arm, tugging him up and off the ground. Daesung is hardly listening to him, and it doesn’t seem he will be getting a proper reply from him anytime soon, so Seunghyun will just have to find out for himself.

Though by the way Daesung dodges the question, he thinks he already knows the answer.

At first Daesung goes willingly, rising easily and following with an alert, curious expression… Until he sees where he is being led.

“What are you–- _no!_ ” His voice cracks as he lurches back, straining to wrench his arm out of Seunghyun’s firm grasp. Yet under Seunghyun’s relentless driving they continue forward, feet scraping across the loose dirt and rapidly closing the distance between them and the looming cliff’s edge.

Looks like Seunghyun has his answer.

The gorge below comes into view and Daesung yelps in growing alarm, his claws emerging unbidden amid his mounting panic. “Stop! Seunghyun, _let me go!_ ”

“Hold still, will you?”

“No!”

Only a few yards from the edge Daesung’s frenzied struggling becomes too great for Seunghyun to safely contain, his sharp claws digging painfully into his arm, and he releases him. His packmate drops to the ground in an instant, landing hard on his rear and scooting backward, his tail curled under him and dragging in the dirt. In complete dismay, he flings himself away from the sharp drop-off mere feet from where Seunghyun stands precariously, nothing behind his sharp outline but empty, blue sky.

He acts like Seunghyun had meant to throw him over the edge. The thought is ludicrous, but Seunghyun grudgingly admits, with the smallest measure of guilt, that perhaps he _had_ steered his mate a bit too close for comfort.

“Why… Why would you even,” Daesung rasps, panting in terror. His normally small eyes are wide and shining with obvious fear.

Unable to resist-– and knowing full well how wicked of him it is–- Seunghyun moves as if to grab him again. In response Daesung flops onto his stomach and flattens himself against the ground, palms to the earth. “No! Don’t touch me!” he gasps, distress stealing his breath away.

“You know,” Seunghyun drones, “If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it so many times by now.”

It's true. With Daesung a constant presence at his side these days, Seunghyun has no shortage of opportunities. But why would he? He likes having the other wolf around. Besides that, even if he wanted to, Seunghyun would not end him like this. He would do it more… intimately.

Daesung only whimpers in reply. Seunghyun regards his mate calmly, unruffled by his dramatics. “So that’s a yes?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Daesung blurts out. “Who _isn’t_ afraid of heights?” His frightened eyes lock onto the scant distance between Seunghyun’s feet and the rocky ledge. _Hazardous_. He swallows nervously and says, “It’s normal to be afraid. It’s healthy to have a little fear. Don’t you think?”

“Normal,” Seunghyun echoes softly. “I think you could use a little less of it.”

“You could use a little more.”

The uncharacteristically snippy reply has Seunghyun glancing down at the other wolf in surprise. Here is a side of his mate that he has not seen often in the short time they have known each other. It has been a slower process than Seunghyun would like, but he is pleased to see Daesung gradually coming out of his shell, his confidence around him and the rest of their pack growing at a snail’s pace. This Daesung he looks forward to seeing more of, this man who Seunghyun hopes will one day be unafraid to stand up to him and deliver him the hard truths, as one’s mate should be able to.

Because sometimes that is precisely what he needs. After all, Seunghyun has never been especially adept at keeping himself in check, at finding balance between the wild side of his wolf heritage and the milder human influence, his mixed blood not always merging well within the narrow walls of his veins.

But until that time…

Holding the other’s gaze, Seunghyun slides another foot closer to the edge; a light breeze ruffles the hairs on his head and the coarse furs on his tail hanging loosely behind him, evidence of his calm. Daesung gawks at him. Another step or two and he will be standing on air. Or, well, falling through it.

“What are you _doing?_ ”

Seunghyun turns away. Another shuffling half step has Daesung shrieking at his back, “ _Are you insane?!_ ” He sounds positively frantic, like Seunghyun’s proximity to a fatal fall is somehow tied to him. Like if Seunghyun were to fall, Daesung would too.

Their bond is weak still, a newly-hatched, fledgling chick with years of growth and brilliant plumage ahead of it, should it survive to maturity. Seunghyun wonders, will there come a day when Daesung might see through his eyes? Share his senses? Feel his fear and pain and joy as if they are his own? What does this mean for them, really?

Daesung is still waiting on an answer from him.

“Insane? I might be,” Seunghyun muses. He peers over the edge and frowns down at the river several hundred feet below–- down, down, ever downward to the jagged rocks that line the river’s banks, to the rushing rapids that foam and froth tirelessly, day and night. As he gazes upon it the river roars ceaselessly, savagely, like a live thing waiting to devour him.

“You’ve been with us for how long now? I haven’t been counting the months, but surely you’ve noticed by now.” With the toe of his shoe Seunghyun nudges some loose gravel over the edge and watches it fall. “I’m not like most wolves.”

Daesung gives him a queer look, head cocked to the side and narrow eyes pinching up from beneath. It’s as if he is re-evaluating Seunghyun where he stands.

“I know,” he agrees. “You’re really not.”

All of a sudden, with a great sense of unease, Seunghyun finds himself prey to an entirely different sort of fear. One a little less imminent, but every bit as real. Months ago he had pushed Daesung down and pushed into him, ignorant at the time to the permanence of what he had done. That Daesung might not have wanted to stick with Seunghyun and his modestly sized pack–- rounded out only by Jiyong and Youngbae–- when he plucked him out of the wilderness weeks later had never seemed like a real possibility… until now.

And so, in a dull tone that he hopes gives nothing away, Seunghyun says, “Are you reconsidering? Thinking of leaving us?” _Thinking of leaving me?_ he thinks. He can’t imagine where Daesung would go, but _away_ might be good enough.

“No. That’s not… No.” Daesung examines him, searching for clues in the way he refuses to return his gaze. He must think there is something wrong with Seunghyun’s survival instinct. There very well may be.

“Aren’t you afraid?” he finally asks.

“Of course I am,” Seunghyun says. “I’m fucking terrified.”

Of course, Daesung doesn’t realize that they are not discussing the same fears.

With that, Seunghyun’s gaze drops back into the gorge before him, back to the furious river that rages up at him. Taunting him, tempting him down. The roiling of its dark waters. The stark white foam bubbling up and turning over where currents collide. The river in a state of perpetual violence. The spectacle below them mirrors the way Seunghyun feels inside some days.

It used to be that he felt like the river _most_ days. Then he had found and made Daesung his own, if a bit unintentionally, and something in him began to ease up. In the months since Seunghyun’s rough waters have begun to smooth over, and where before there was only turbulence he now sometimes, on rare occasions, finds tranquility. As far as Seunghyun is concerned, Daesung’s effect on him is nothing short of a miracle.

“But you know,” Seunghyun continues, “There is something about the fear. Something about standing here with the full understanding that this clump of earth beneath me could give out at any second, knowing that I could plummet to my death, just like that?” He lifts his chin and bares his face to the freedom of the open sky. “I feel more alive than ever.”

“Fear is meant to keep us alive,” Daesung says sagely, though his voice trembles a bit around the wise words. “You ignore it and you’ll die.”

“It is that simple, isn’t it.”

“It is.”

Seunghyun is not afraid to stand on the edge, balanced on the precipice between life and death. Day by day, though the other may not yet realize it, Daesung takes him higher and higher, lifting him like never before. Making him into something _better_ , perhaps. How could Seunghyun ever fear such new heights?

A sudden thought strikes him.

“If I jumped,” he begins, “Would you jump with me?”

“What? No!” Daesung answers, his brows drawing down in something like outrage, something like hurt.

“But you’re my mate.”

Daesung gives him a helpless look from where he is still plastered to the ground behind him. “Why are you being like this?”

The steady rumble of the rapids below calls to Seunghyun and he murmurs cryptically, “Who knows?”

What reason would he have to take that final step? Already there are days when Daesung has Seunghyun feeling like he is in free fall.

“You wouldn’t really do it… would you?” Slowly, hesitantly, Daesung pushes up onto his knees and inches closer to Seunghyun where he stands by the ledge. Extending a cautious hand, trembling fingers latch onto the fabric of Seunghyun’s pant leg. The kiss of fingertips against the back of his calf, no matter how chaste, seems to ground him, Daesung’s light touch holding Seunghyun to the earth in this peculiar moment when he fears he might just float away.

Quietly, his naturally soft voice further muted with uncertainty, Daesung all but whispers, “Seunghyun. Don’t jump.”

And just like that, Seunghyun can see the other’s fear shifting. Before his very eyes, Daesung’s fear for his own survival evolves into fear for the survival of his mate. Fear for _him_. To Seunghyun’s own, selfish ego his concern is staggering, his caring devastating. It shatters everything Seunghyun thought he ever knew about himself: that he has only ever cared for himself. His own happiness, his own well-being, his own continued survival.

It’s a revelation; Daesung’s very presence brings about a change of heart in Seunghyun long overdue.

Seunghyun could lose his life at any moment, this he has always known. Now, in this moment, the fear strikes him that he could lose _Daesung_ at any time. The two of them–- no, all five of them, the entire pack together–- could lose everything without warning, gone in an instant and just as quickly forgotten. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

But they go on living anyway, and that nothing in their short lives is guaranteed gives Seunghyun both enormous anxiety and a tremendous thrill. Such is the duality of this cruel world in which they reside.

Wordlessly, Seunghyun turns and sinks to his knees before Daesung. Facing him with a pleased, sharp-toothed grin that he knows probably looks frightening, he ruffles his mate’s shaggy, brown hair. The tousled strands fall over Daesung’s eyes and Seunghyun is not sure he has ever seen him appear more lost.

“Trying to catch flies with that open mouth of yours?”

Daesung’s mouth snaps shut with an audible _click_. “You’re smiling.”

Seunghyun winds fingers into his hair and tugs on it playfully. “Are you okay?”

“Are _you?_ ”

“I was only testing you.”

“But why?” Daesung cries as he scrambles up and off the ground, wobbling about on shaky legs like those of a newborn fawn. His tail swings lazily behind him, turned up at the tip in a way that means he hopes this signals the end of Seunghyun’s crazy for today.

“Got to keep you on your toes,” Seunghyun replies, linking their arms and leading Daesung away from the cliff’s edge, satisfied and ready at last to end his poor mate’s prolonged-- and yes, entirely unnecessary-– suffering. Daesung all but clings to him until they have reached a safe distance.

“…Did I pass?”

“You passed,” Seunghyun assures him, diving in and covering Daesung’s lips with his own, kissing him deeply, wetly, possessively. “Come on, let’s go.” They have experienced enough danger and made enough discoveries for one day.

If Seunghyun knows him-– and he believes he does-– Daesung will do his best to avoid ever returning to this place. And that’s fine. Qualities like love and devotion are certainly desirable in a mate, but out here survival instinct trumps all such sweet sentiments.

One day Seunghyun will die; his eventual end is inevitable. In his absence he hopes Daesung will _live_.

“I don’t understand you,” Daesung says from his place beside him, something mournful in his soft tone as they pick their way through the tall grasses together. They weave between the trees in search of more worn trails, and Seunghyun only squeezes his hand in reply.

_One day you will_ , Seunghyun thinks. Or maybe he won’t. Does it matter? He and Daesung have established an inseparable bond, and the years stretch out ahead of them like paths in the wilderness waiting to be explored.

They are both new to this. A werewolf’s mate, his true mate, is meant to last a lifetime. With each passing day they wade further into the unknown, which then becomes known. Bravely they will go, not submitting to fear when it rears its ugly face but embracing it, standing tall with teeth bared and talons on full display. Whatever it takes to keep themselves alive. They will figure each other out along the way.

 

 

 


End file.
